Category Archives: hilarity

Nude Celeb Zac Efron Tits on Oil Spill “How the F*ck” follow up

Unfortunately, our hypotheses as to why we got so many hits in the past few days is unfounded. You can rest assured that our exponential outburst of views was not a case repeated incidental happen upons. Our conclusion derives from an experiment aforementioned in this blogpost’s predecessor that we deliberately tagged misleading labels to  (i.e., “tits,’ oil spill,’ etc.”)

Only after typing in “nude celeb zac efron tits on oil spill” in to Google did our post finally appear, albeit in the sixth slot (behind Zac Efron poses with nude babe, teenage girls cry. and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Transforms Into Nude Lady – MashCeleb). Accordingly, we believe the average internet search engine user types a maximum of two words per search, and, also, the probability of specifically hunting for “nude celeb zac efron tits on oil spill” falls just on the unbelievable side of farfetched.

Conclusion: http://www.Videogum.com uploading our (Alex Nichols) piece is the major contributor to our site’s recent success.

Advertisements

How the F*ck did we get so many views?

As our hit count tidal wave recedes back to the water, we ask ourselves how the fuck did 4,000 plus people visit our website in the past two days? To put it in perspective, our most recent spike came on  April 25 when we cashed in a whopping 46 internet-goers. I decide to do research.

On July 25 we posted a piece entitled “Dare You Take a Leap of Faith?” A supple, yet refined critique of a soon-to-be cinematic treasure “Charlie St. Cloud” starring Zack Efron. I know and we know when Mr. Efrom is a hand chiseled, Robert Duvall/ELVIS hybrid, one of a kind talent, but do people google his name that many times a day? A record day like yesterday, could it be possible that a small percentage of that very crowd accidently stumbled on our relatively miniscule blog post while searching for anything and everything Zack Effron?  My hypothesis forms….

Either way you look at it, it is definitely plausible. Though, like true scientists, we will test my hypothesis. In doing so, we will tag this post with misleading labels and one-word descriptions such as: “Oil spill, ‘Tits,’ ‘Hurricane,’ ‘Nude Celebs,’ and, of course, ‘Efron,’ ‘Zac,’ ‘Charlie St. Cloud.” We will see…

There will be a follow-up of statistically charged analysis of this proposed data shortly.

-Those People

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Those People at KCiF 9!

You won’t get this 8-month-old footage anywhere else! The sound is a little bit low, so headphones might not be a bad idea.

Ask Alex Anything (Anonymously!)

Formspring.me is a great place for high school girls to anonymously call fellow high school girls  “OMG like, total bitches.” It’s also a great place to get answers on some of the most pressing issues of our time.

Go to my formspring and ask me a question about anything, and I’ll answer it to the best of my abilities. The top questions will occasionally be posted on this here blog.

Here are some samples:

If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been?

I guess this is as good a venue as any to get this off my chest:

That sonofabitch Jonas Salk stole the idea for the polio vaccine from me.

Salk, President Roosevelt and I were all hanging out one day, just sitting around and chilling or whatever. So FDR says, “Guys, this polio shit is fucking me up, for reals.” And so I say, “We should come up with a vaccine to cure that.” And FDR says “Wow, that’s a great idea, Alex!” He was really into it.

Salk, in the meantime, said nothing. He just sat there nodding a bit, like he was distracted. I didn’t realize it then, but he was making a mental note to steal the shit out of my idea! What an asshole!

So FDR ends up dying, and then several years later I see Salk’s smug face on the front page of the newspaper for curing polio. Meanwhile, I’m broke, toiling in obscurity and answering anonymous questions on the internet.

Jonas Salk is a thieving piece of shit.

Continue reading

Deep Thoughts with JT

What if dogs only wag their tails when they’re extremely sad…

How would we feel about petting them and scratching their bellies then!

What if the tail wag is a sign of them being horny…

I’m glad I don’t have a tail, otherwise most girls I see at the gym would feel uncomfortable.

And most dogs as well.

Coach Maynard’s Word of The Week (Jan. 11-18): “Baljunking”

Coach Maynard's Word of the Week

Legendary comedy coach Coach Maynard has trained Those People on how to make the funny for over 30 years. You’ll get to know him better over the next several weeks. In the meantime, however, we’d like to introduce his weekly feature. In addition to being a comedy expert, Coach Maynard is also an enthusiastic linguist and student of the wordly arts. Each week, we’ll debut a new word invented by the Coach himself. This week’s word:

Baljunking: (v) to baljunk; walk around slouched, shoulders rolled with one or more hands in pant pocket(s). Often directed derogatorily toward gangsters, thieves, low lives, etc.

Alan, I wish you would stop baljunking around the classroom so often, it’s disrespectful!

Coach Maynard’s Word of the Week (Jan. 4-10): “Regregnant”

Coach Maynard's Word of the WeekLegendary comedy coach Coach Maynard has trained Those People on how to make the funny for over 30 years. You’ll get to know him better over the next several weeks. In the meantime, however, we’d like to introduce his weekly feature. In addition to being a comedy expert, Coach Maynard is also an enthusiastic linguist and student of the wordly arts. Each week, we’ll debut a new word invented by the Coach himself. This week’s word:

Regregnant (adj.) sad, remorseful, disappointed to have a developing in the uterus.

Unfortunately, Larry, I find myself regregnant once again with your child.