Christopher’s Dream Journal

There I was, in a mediocre Charter Bus driven by John Travolta.  The sign said his name was John Travolta, but he actually looked like a math teacher from my middle school.  However, this Travolta and the famous one shared a passion for operating passenger carriers.  Buses, Planes, it doesn’t matter to those Travolta’s.

Travolta pulls over and picks up the entire Kansas University football team.  A very chubby Kerry Meier with a feathered mullett slides next to me and begins to act a little TOO friendly.  He takes my arm and places it around his shoulders.

We spot a funnel cloud forming in the distance, which grows bigger and bigger and eventually touches down as Travolta drives us directly towards it.

Then I woke up and had to pee.  There’s a lot of homosexual undertones in that dream.  Huh.

Those People Alum Gets E-Published

Those People Alum Shawn Bowers has been electronically published in the esteemed Internet literary journal McSweeneys. It’s safe to say that without his invaluable comedy experience as a member of Those People, he never would have achieved this or the massive wealth that he has received as a result. Yes, that’s yet another famous Those Person! We’re becoming a star factory on par with SNL, American Idol and Jersey Shore.

Read Shawn’s very funny piece here.

Credits Sketch with an Alum

Those People Alum, Jon Matteson, stayed up late one lonely night 3 weeks ago and wrote this Credits sketch with me.  There was much laughing.

Scratch that.  We weren’t laughing.  It was guffawing, in specific.

–Tosin Morohunfola & Jon Matteson

p.s. You’ll need to be logged on to Facebook to view this video.

p.p.s.  Sorry Doug, there’s no actual movie.  This film has not been made.

My thoughts, with Garrett Kelly

Justin Bieber, child sensation and musical prodigy, could be called a baby by some.  The legal definition of a baby being that he is under the age of 18.  Well, this baby has new hit song titled “One less lonely girl”  where he talks about how once he makes this girl his girlfriend, he will save the world one lonely girl at a time.

My thoughts:

Justin Bieber is extremely rich and famous, and he has a blazing hot body to top it off.  BLAZING!  So the girl that he deems suitable is probably pretty attractive.  Justin Bieber is seen with Selena Gomez, the beautiful girl who Justin is saving from loneliness.   The problem is that in the real world this girl would have no trouble finding a guy like ….me.  So if Justin Bieber truly wants to save a girl from loneliness he should take himself off the market.  Therefore shifting all the girls down one level, and making it so that one extra guy or girl who was just not attractive enough for the last girl or guy can find love.

So Justin Bieber, please save the world from one less lonely girl by dating a girl that I can get.  That way I can get a girl I can’t get.

Deep Thoughts with JT

What if dogs only wag their tails when they’re extremely sad…

How would we feel about petting them and scratching their bellies then!

What if the tail wag is a sign of them being horny…

I’m glad I don’t have a tail, otherwise most girls I see at the gym would feel uncomfortable.

And most dogs as well.

Overheard In-Class Conversations

Just a quick story:

So, earlier today I meandered into one of my classes taking a seat behind these two girls. I didn’t know anyone in the class so, naturally, I filled my time by eavesdropping on their conversation…it goes as follows:

Red Head: I went to that concert over the break!

Brunette: Oh yeah! How was that?

Red Head: Not very fun actually, everyone was married.  And the drummer was, like, you know…[eyes open widely]…and I could feel it in my stomach after that.

Brunette: [in affirmation] Right.

WHAT!?!?!? What could she have possibly been implying?

Coach Maynard’s Word of The Week (Jan. 11-18): “Baljunking”

Legendary comedy coach Coach Maynard has trained Those People on how to make the funny for over 30 years. You’ll get to know him better over the next several weeks. In the meantime, however, we’d like to introduce his weekly feature. In addition to being a comedy expert, Coach Maynard is also an enthusiastic linguist and student of the wordly arts. Each week, we’ll debut a new word invented by the Coach himself. This week’s word:

Baljunking: (v) to baljunk; walk around slouched, shoulders rolled with one or more hands in pant pocket(s). Often directed derogatorily toward gangsters, thieves, low lives, etc.

Alan, I wish you would stop baljunking around the classroom so often, it’s disrespectful!

…touche…

I do not happen to be nearly as funny on an individual level as my peers in “TP”*. That being said, I have been blessed with dashing good looks, which no doubt contributes to my involvement with “TP”*. It’s a known fact that 7 out of 10 times I am able to contribute in a positive way to any group scene. The other 3/10 of scenes I perform in are drastically improved by the mere presence of my hot bod. When I am funny however, I’m hilarious.

For instance, the following is a conversation held between myself and a certain female member of “TP”*…

A: “You are drunk!”

B: “No I am not!”

A: “Yes you are!”

B:  “Prove it!”

A: “You are drunk!”

B:”. . .touche. . .”

*note: I am fully aware that the initials “TP”, while used in reference to “Those People” could also be mistaken for representing “Toilet Paper”, I was going to change this, but then I found it strangely appropriate…

Those People makes its national television debut!

Former Those Person and current Los Angeles resident Ryan Klamen was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and he shined like a bright shiny star!

Ryan pokes his cute little face out at :33.  He does some great listening, laughs like a champ and only looks at himself in the monitor twice! Now that’s the kind of top-notch professionalism that only membership in Those People can teach you.  We’re proud of our departed brother and think this clip will make a great addition to his demo reel. Next stop: Ellen!

Upright Citizens Brigade/NYC trip

Went to Upright Citizens Brigade theatre last night and saw Pete from 30 Rock and his attractive lady partner do some wonderful long form comedy!

Things Learned from this adventure.

1. You DO NOT need more than two people to make a successful improv scene

2. Scott Adsit is not as bald as he seems

3.  Scott Adsit is much funnier than me.

New Years Resolution: Bring more funny to the table, and less potato salad.

ALSO!!!!! Been writing / developing ideas. Stay tuned for the Just Woke Up Talk Show with JT and Chris!